Morpheus on… Trump’s Finances

If Trump’s legal expenses overwhelm him, he can always get Jeff Sessions to reveal the location of his pot o’gold…


Morpheus on… Trump: The Amazing Dancing Bear

Misdirection; a major factor in most magic – while your attention is drawn to one thing, the real business is being done elsewhere. And it predates that; in the middle ages, carnivals featured an Amazing Dancing Bear – and as you watched the show, the owner’s cronies were working the crowd. Only later would you discover your wallet was missing.

And this is what Donald J. Trump is – a Dancing Bear.

Hard to imagine, he has been in power for less than eighteen months. But while this ineffable clown has fascinated the World, blundering through a different absurdity every WEEK, he and HIS cronies have already done enough damage to cripple The States. And unchecked, during the more than THIRTY months left in his term, that country – and by association, the rest of the World – are looking at a HELLSCAPE that will take those with hearts (if not balls) DECADES to undo.

In the past, stories like this have always ended with The Cavalry Riding Over The Hill (appropriately) just in the nick of time. But with Trump, all you have is Mueller and the Mid-term Elections. And when they eventually happen, Congress will still have to ACT to get rid of him – and replace him with Mike Ponce (another right-wing retard who will CONTINUE his policies – just less flamboyantly). And it will take a massive Democratic majority to achieve THAT.

Because when it comes to The Amazing Dancing Bear, the GOP alone will NEVER act. Each representative has witnessed the stream of political corpses in Trump’s wake and has no wish to join them. And despite the excesses, he and his Cartoon Cabinet has been more than effective in pushing the right-wing agenda.

Thus The PEOPLE will have to act; get out there and VOTE. Never mind if the Democratic candidate is a dummy – whatever they are, they are NOT REPUBLICAN.

But will it even happen? After all, America’s constant mass-shootings would stop overnight if The People abandoned pointless Thoughts And Prayers and BANNED private ownership of guns, as all other civilised countries have done (if they ever allowed them in the first place).

We can only hope that THIS time, the American People see SENSE – and RID the World of this Dancing Bear.

And now – a song…

Morpheus on… The Bris

Let’s apply some logic here. One presumes those of the Jewish faith believe that God created Man, right? And in his… sorry, His image, yes? And further, that God is perfect? So where do they get off “improving” His design?

And it’s not even an improvement ANYWAY. The nob, once stripped of its protective covering (which rolls BACK during intercourse and is kept in place by a flexible membrane) develops a thick, hard skin which drastically reduces sensitivity – and therefore, the enjoyment of sex. Even masturbation is affected adversely (not to mention MESSILY). The ORIGINAL design works FINE.

This writer’s research has failed to shed any light on this. According to Wiki, some PERSON, thousands of years ago, wrote a piece instructing followers to perform (or have performed) this mutilation on all eight-day-old male babies – a procedure which is impractical, even today, to reverse.

And it’s only our current obsession with P.C. (and Jewish pressure groups) that ensure Western society tolerates said mutilation (imagine if it didn’t exist and someone tried to introduce the practise NOW).

Now don’t get me wrong. Apart from this one niggle, Jewish people are among my personal favourites in the World. They have the best sense of humour and fun – showbiz would be a DESERT without them – and some of my best friends, etc.

And there are religions with FAR worse “traditions” than the Bris – you know who you are – it’s just that THIS is what I’m asking NOW. So whilst for me, it’s academic (thankfully, I HAVE my foreskin) I’d still love SOMEONE to give me the reasoning behind this practise. You don’t even have to register with WordPress. Just leave a “comment”.

And so long as it doesn’t accuse me of being a Nazi/ Jew-hater/”troll”/ anti-Semitic, moronic Gentile or whatever – I’ll PUBLISH it. Promise!

Morpheus on… Trump: Interweb CHAMPION

Trump has always bitched about the size of his inauguration crowd – but has he tried GOOGLING himself? The result would encourage the King Of The Twats (sorry, Tweets) no end.

The Beatles’ John Lennon once remarked that his group was currently more famous than God. Well, these days the group gets 124 million results. God (see below) gets a LOT more.

Hitler and Elvis get around the same number – 118 and 147 respectively – while these days, Sinatra only gets around 41 (how quickly they forget).

However, this is where it gets interesting – while Obama produces a creditable 352 million results, Trump scores a whopping 849!!

Which means Trump has BLITZED the Beatles, Hitler, Elvis and Sinatra – AND his nemesis, Obama.

And while God gets an unassailable 1,800 – Jesus only gets 858.

So Trump is fast catching up on HIM…

Morpheus on… The Invisible Ones

What did “Stan” in “Will And Grace”, “Carlton, Your Doorman” in “Rhoda” and the wives of “Norm”, “Niles” and “Capt Mainwaring” in “Cheers”, “Frasier” and “Dad’s Army”, respectively – have in common?

Of course, they were all sitcom characters who were oft’ referred to – but never SEEN.

Oh, you occasionally saw a body part – Stan’s hand as he copped a feel of his wife’s boob (quickly brushed aside) – Norm’s wife’s entire body (but with her face immediately covered by a cherry pie) – the back of Carlton’s head, in a taxi (it was shaped like that of “The Geek Of Chelmsford” – see elsewhere in these columns) – and Mrs Mainwaring’s “impression” in an upper bunk-bed (she was clearly of ample proportions). But that was all.

The character who is oft’ referred to but never seen is a GIFT for writers. They start with a blank canvas in the viewers’ minds – then slowly paint it in. Naturally the end picture will vary a little, according to each individual viewer’s imagination and experiences – but the basic image will be the same.

And the top prize MUST go to the writers of Frasier. Despite the previous success of “Cheers”, they had no way of knowing it would last another ELEVEN YEARS.

Thus with “Maris” being constantly referenced for TWENTY years – building up a picture of a brittle, emaciated harridan – the writers eventually pushed the envelope SO far, no-one could EVER have been found to FILL the role!

Damien on… Will Trump Ever QUIT?

Absolutely NOT. It’s not in his DNA.

In TrumpWorld, honesty, decency and empathy count for nothing. It’s all about Winning and Losing. And the WORST kind of losing is that which is VOLUNTARY – regardless of the reason. Two cases in point…

It was the middle of his run in “The Apprentice” – as usual, two teams were competing in a task – the winning team to be the one that raised the most cash. The result was close, but inevitably one team triumphed. The losing team was set to join Trump in The Boardroom, “where someone will get fired.”

Normally, the Team Leader would nominate two team members and the three would fight it out, after which Trump would make his decision.

But on this occasion, the Team Leader came in ALONE, declaring that no-one in his team had given any less than 100% – therefore he was falling on his sword.

Very noble – except Trump was LIVID. HIS style would have been to nominate ANY two random members and bust his arse trying to deflect blame to whoever showed weakness.

Thus his response was to let the Team Leader go (literally) and drag the rest of the team into The Boardroom and STILL fire someone – ANYONE – just to SPITE the Team Leader. No-one ever did THAT again.

Then several years later, Trump found himself in a Presidential Debate with Smug Hillary – at the end of which, a number of “voter’s questions” were asked, which the two had had no opportunity to prepare for.

And one was; throughout this campaign, you two have shown utter contempt for each other – so name a quality in your opponent that you actually ADMIRE.

After a chuckle from the audience, Old Ma Clinton went first. She totally DUCKED the question, saying she admired Trump’s CHILDREN.

(Had she SEEN them? Don Jr, Eric and Ivanka are EVIL, Tiffany is cute – but keeps as far from the Trump clan as possible – and Barron, a KID, seems to be wondering what the hell is going on).

Anyhoo, then Trump was up – and for once, he showed a moment of empathy. He said he admired that she was not a QUITTER. Throughout all of the madness, she had tenaciously carried on.

Although it seemed to go right over Hillary’s head – this was actually the highest REAL COMPLEMENT Trump could have conferred upon her. And this from a man who showers compliments around like confetti – until you piss him off.

Therefore, FORGET about TRUMP quitting – he’d rather kill himself.

No, this insane (hypomanic, with a side of NPD) juggernaut will blunder on as long as there is breath in his body.

So until there is actual PROOF of a link between HIM (not the minions who lie around him like ten-pins) and CRIMINAL wrongdoing, this crazy saga will continue…

Morpheus on… Near-Death Experiences

Those who take reports of Near-Death Experience seriously are deluded.

I am an Atheist who believes in Science – however, I also believe in the SOUL.

The Soul is NOT solely a religious concept – religion HIJACKED it – just like they hijacked the Winter Solstice (Christmas) and various classics, for hymns. It is the Spiritual component of our brains. Thus, SCIENCE.

Not “KNOWN” Science. But when a new dinosaur skeleton is discovered, only then does it become Known – despite it having EXISTED for millions of years.

And NDE is a part of NEUROSCIENCE – which happily explains NDE as an illusion created by the PHYSICAL brain, when it believes itself in crisis.

Those who have experienced it detail consistent experiences – but this alone does not make them TRUE.

Nevertheless, this has not stopped religions claiming the white lights and tunnels reported were a premature view of Heaven.

Fact is, many people have been brought Back From The Brink – particularly these days, thanks to medical advances like adrenalin shots and resuscitation kits.

However, sometimes people just get better for no obvious reason. People have woken up in the MORGUE – “What place is THIS?” (vintage Basil Rathbone reference there).

During the last half-century much research has been done, trying to create intelligent COMPUTERS – Artificial Intelligence.

Unlike most of Arthur C Clarke’s predictions in his epic, “2001: A Space Odyssey” there are PRACTICAL commercial and “defence” applications for AI – thus no shortage of MONEY for those trying to develop it.

But in those fifty years, despite salespersons talking about AI as if it had been achieved, the truth is they are no closer to creating it than they were in 1968.

The scientists seeking it discovered they were on a TREADMILL. While technology continually moved forwards, their progress was ZERO.

The elusive quality we call intelligence could not be produced in computers – or found in our brains.

This is because our intelligence is in the SPIRITUAL dimension of our brains. As is our consciousness, self-awareness, psyche, essence – in short, the Soul.

Their mistake is understandable, since our Physical brains contain our operating system, memories and programmes – just like computers.

While our ESOTERIC abilities – emotion, personality, ego, the id, humour, art, music and suchlike – clearly dwell in BOTH, being responsive to drugs, yet arcane to Science.

And while we are In This Place, the whole act as ONE – but when our Physical brains finally succumb, our Spiritual brains will no longer be tethered to them and I believe we will find ourselves In Another Place.

The big question is – WHERE?

And the answer is – I do not know. Nor does anyone.

No-one has ever ACTUALLY visited the Other Place and returned to This One to tell the tale. Which is hardly surprising, since for them to have re-appeared back In This Place would have required a vessel. And their body was now DEAD.

Their heart had stopped – oxygenated blood had ceased flowing to their Physical brains – their neurons had quit firing – their synapses had withered – and their engrams had decayed. Tree stump.

But those who have experienced and described NDE – were still very much ALIVE. They may have had a BRUSH with death, but the Grim Reaper LOST them.

Another thing we do not know is how much of what was us In This Place will be DUPLICATED in the Other Place.

Logically, it should include the afore-mentioned personality and memories – or else we would spend eternity consisting solely of intelligence, cast into a void of sensory deprivation, with no clue about who, what or where we were.

An appalling prospect.

However there are plenty of far more cheery ones. I for one am looking forward to my Soul ending up in perpetual Paradise – or at least somewhere with a nice beach.

After all, having endured Trump, Brexit, kidney stones and Justin Bieber, I figure I’ve earned it.