Morpheus on… Fashion

“Style is for individualists – fashion is for the GULLIBLE.”

So said…well, me actually. I mean, what sort of a prat is going to pay $100 and up for a pair of 5-pocket jeans that cost $10 to make? And walk like a penguin ’cause the current fashion insists the crotch be down around the KNEES?

Before that, it was the RIPS in the knees. And before that, STONE-washing. In fact ANYTHING to REDUCE THE LIFE of clothes that were designed to be hard-wearing WORK clothes.

Said it before and I’ll say it again – if in the Sixties, a time-traveller had told me that in 2008 (9 now) people would be going to work with JET-PACKS strapped to their backs, I’d have BELIEVED them, but if they had said smoking would be banned in BARS… And the same must be said for the existence of a shop called “Levi Strauss” on Fifth Avenue that sells their wares for over $100 a pop. Madness.

The same can be said for moronic kids who beat up other kids whose parents had the sense to buy $20 trainers for $20 – not $200. The name-brand ones are made by the same Third World kids as the non-name-brand ones. The only difference is the money the name-brand company spent on ADVERTISING.

It’s all bullsh*t anyway – a few years ago, “The Gap” tried to kid kids that KHAKI was “trendy” – then it was “little boy” V-neck jumpers – now all the kids are wearing tops with HOODS. In My Day, ANY of those items would have got you beaten up as a NERD.

Again, In My Day, more expensive meant better quality – but not anymore. Now, you get a famous golfer to spend a couple of hours poncing around on a golf course, doing a few trick-shots (they only show the ones he HIT) and pay him more money than the ENTIRE workforce, who make the product he’s advertising, earns in a YEAR.

It’s like the workers who pick the seeds (NOT beans) that are bought by a chain of name-brand coffee bars. Thanks to the advertising “surcharge”, if one of said workers made it to New York, it’d cost them two weeks wages to buy ONE CUP.

Then there’s “Designer Stubble”. We had that In My Day too. Except we called it Look At That Lazy Bastard Who Hasn’t Bothered To Shave For A Week.

And of course, designer CLOTHES. Apparently there really are people who STILL don’t know most of those impractical togs actually LOSE money – and that the only reason they’re made at all is to keep the BRAND-NAME profile up, which enables the companies to make the REAL money from accessories and perfumes – sorry, FRAGRANCES – that are sold to ordinary people, so they can delude themselves into thinking they’re “jet-setters” (even though the only time they board a jet is on their cramped package holiday to Benidorm) having shelled out $30 for their cheap bag or little bottle of pong.

Such designer clothes as ARE sold are mostly bought by sugar-daddies for spoilt Lolitas anyway. They’re the modern equivalent of The Fur Coat.

But change is in the air. The current financial crisis. And while it’s hurting a LOT of ordinary people, we must be thankful for one thing – it’ll hurt the con-artist designers most of ALL. Then maybe STYLE will make a welcome re-appearance.

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