So this rich bloke sees “Master And Commander” and decides to buy a sailing boat.
In due course, he has possession of a sixty-footer, a matching cap and a book entitled “How To Sail”.
But after ten minutes of reading about larboard and scuppers he realises he needs professional help and places an ad for two crewmen in “Yachting Monthly”.
So these two blokes answer his ad. They are two of the strangest men Rich Bloke has ever seen – one has ENORMOUS eyes – the other, GIGANTIC ears. He names them “The Owl” and “Dumbo”.
And since they are the only two to turn up, he decides to give them a go. It’s a calm, sunny day, with a slight breeze. They head slowly out to sea and pretty soon, the land has disappeared to be replaced by lots of nothing.
After scanning the empty horizon for a few hours, Rich Bloke gets bored. His two men appear to know what they’re doing, so he decides to go below and catch up on some reading. He instructs them to give him a shout if anything happens.
After a couple of hours, there’s a knock on his cabin door. It’s The Owl. “You said to call you if there was anything, Sir. There’s a boat off the starboard bow.”
They go up on deck and after being told where the starboard bow is, Rich Bloke scans the horizon. He sees nothing. “Where?” he asks. The Owl points to a minuscule speck on the horizon. Making a mental note to bring his binoculars next time, he says, “My Lord, you’ve got good eyes – what is it?”
“It’s a Russian trawler, Sir,” pipes up Dumbo.
“How can you tell?” asks Rich Bloke.
“I can hear ’em talking.”