Morpheus on… Where Nick Clegg Goes From Here

Nick Clegg has painted himself into a corner.

During those five fabulous days when he was in the cat-bird seat, he appeared to have a FUTURE – but then he blew it.

It was really all that man Brown’s fault. We don’t like Brown (SERIOUSLY obscure reference there). Having never been elected as Prime Minister by the British people, he was about as popular as a fart in a crowded lift.

Of course, if the Labour Party had put up Ed (not Balls – are you kidding?) BEFORE the election, things might have been rather different. David Cameron, Clegg and Miliband would have looked like brothers, rather than a grouchy old man and his sons – which was what the three eventual prime-ministerial prospects looked like.

And once the numbers came in, it was always INEVITABLE that Cleggy would marry Cameron. But now that he has (and I think we all know who the WOMAN is) where the HELL does he go from here?

Well, there are a number of scenarios – but few of them look good for Nick. Let us examine them…

(1) Cameron gets SHOT – and Cleggy becomes Prime Minister, vowing to hold HIS (for the moment, anyway) coalition party together and step up the fight in The War Against Terrorism (TWAT). Unlikely – given the level of security these days, thanks to nice-but-dim Blair’s misbegotten decision to follow Bush into Iraq.

(2) Cleggy actually WINS the referendum on the Alternative Vote system. Again, unlikely. During the last thirty years, Britain has had TWO decent chances to END the CORRUPT two-party system that it has had for eighty-odd years now – and both times, her electorate BLEW it.

Add to that the fact both Labour and the Torybastards will campaign against it and this writer will eat his FOOT if the referendum goes Cleggy’s way.

But assuming it doesn’t – we have three more scenarios.

(3) Having lost the referendum, Cleggy decides his position is untenable, RESIGNS and his other party members become gradually marginalised.

(4) Cleggy elects to HANG ON IN THERE. This gives CAMERON two options. (4a) He allows the coalition to remain in force – but with a somewhat subdued set of Lib-Dem members. Or – (4b) – if the polls look good for him, he calls a snap General Election and declares the coalition to be over.

Either way, Cleggy will be finished.

(5) This one is my personal favourite. Cleggy loses the referendum, but decides to stick around – however the numbers do NOT and NEVER look favourable for Cameron to hold another General Election – thus forcing him to keep his marriage to Clegg ALIVE (maybe they adopt some kids) for a further five years.

And then suppose, during those five LONG years, David and Nick actually end up BONDING? It may sound like a plot from a Hallmark TV movie, but could Cleggy actually ACHIEVE a change in British politics – by (as it were) the back door?


2 responses to this post.

  1. I think I might GIVE UP hoping for the best, it makes my head hurt. I really DID think that the Coalition were going to defy the loony opinion aka public opinion aka moronic self-delusion and CUT FIRST, BIG TIME, and leave it to charities such as Salvation Army to feed soup to the street-fulls of the starving AFTER, because that is what it will take. But, no. They have BACKED OFF at the first flutters of softie bleatings and loony threats.

  2. Posted by Morpheus on October 10, 2010 at 6:31 am

    The one I’M hoping they’ll back off is the one where they are trying to rip off every pensioner (including ME) for FIVE GRAND-odd, by putting the “retirement age” BACK a year. Their logic is people are living longer.

    However, we have all been paying TAXES all that time, on the PROMISE of a government pension at 65. The last time the Torybastards were in power, they tried MEANS-TESTING pensions – the logic being rich people didn’t need them.

    But rich people would have meant anyone who had bought their own HOUSE – something the Torybastards themselves had urged people to do, a decade earlier.

    Luckily, the COURTS OVERTURNED that one – pointing out the Torybastards had a LEGAL OBLIGATION to pay pensions. But where are those courts THIS time?

    Funny how (ALL) British governments aren’t in FIVE MINUTES before they start targeting the poor, the vulnerable and the PENSIONERS.


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