Morpheus on… Laughable Legal Actions

Let’s start the year (and decade) with something TRULY absurd.

ALLEGEDLY, while a 27-year-old woman (let’s call her April – since it’s her name) was visiting Disney’s Epcot, a guy in a Donald Duck outfit fondled her boob and said something lewd.

Now of course, a reasonable response would have been to have kicked Don in the nuts (which would have been easy, since he doesn’t wear trousers) – or to simply have complained to security – in which case the “cast member” (which Disney call their theme-park characters) would probably have gotten canned and ended up as a football mascot – or Ronald McDonald.

But NO. She is SUEING the Disney Company (whose equity and assets currently total nearly a hundred BILLION US dollars) claiming that – two-and-half-years on – she still suffers from… wait for it… “post-traumatic stress”, “flashbacks”, “cold sweats”, “acute anxiety”, “insomnia”, “muscle-contraction headaches”, “nausia”, “nightmares”, “digestive problems” and “other permanent injuries”.

Oh dear – you’ve gotta laugh, haven’t you? If THIS reporter got GROPED by Donald Duck – he’d settle for a pair of tickets to “Tron: Legacy”.


4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Alfie on January 4, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Do Ducks HAVE nuts?

    Needs a few ludicrous headlines to really pump up the stupidity (and greed) of such people. How about:

    “Woman goosed by duck!”

    And I’m shifting into rhyming slang mode now before remarking that if she got all those ailments from a gentle touch-up just think what the list would be like if he’d “Donald Duck’d” her!

    Oh and if Jessica Rabbit wants to molest ME at any time, I’ll pay HER!


  2. Posted by Vincent on January 5, 2011 at 10:57 am

    I have DREAMS about Jessica! AND Betty Rubble! Apparently, the animators slipped a couple of “naughty” frames into Jessica’s appearance in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” – which were only discovered when it was released on video! The frames have since been removed – leaving copies of the early release as COLLECTIBLE. Some people should get a LIFE!

  3. That slow version of Why Don’t You Do Right (composed by Joe McCoy and sung by Jessica Rabbit in the film) just sent me. On CD, sadly, I can only find the original fast Peggy Lee, 1942, Benny Goodman version. As to the tall lady herself, she is fine for YOU guys. I am astonished, however, that the detective character was enamoured of her because he was of normal height, like me. Weird.

  4. Posted by Vincent on January 7, 2011 at 5:48 am

    I have BOTH versions of it, by Peggy. The original fast one, on a 78 – and the sexy, slow, Fifties version on VT. I WAS going to upload the latter onto YouTube – but someone beat me to it! So here is THEIR upload… – enjoy! (My version has better video quality – but if I uploaded it, it would be relegated to “duplicate” status – waste of time).

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