One lunchtime, I met this chap in a pub who told me he’d just encountered the most amazing thing he’d ever seen in his life – a man who could tell the time by weighing his horse’s testicles.
This I had to see, so I hurried down to the market and found the old man he’d described, sat on a three-legged stool, next to a moth-eaten horse. Sitting down next to him, I casually asked him the time. Sure enough, the old boy placed his hands under the animals goods and gently lifting them said, “Tha’s nearly five and twenty past three.”
Surreptitiously checking my digital watch, I saw that it was indeed 15:23. “That’s amazing!” I said. “How can you tell the time so accurately by doing…that?”
“Oh easy,” he replied, “by doing…this…I can just see the town hall clock.”
(Da-da-da-daah…my name’s Morpheus. Don’t forget to tip your waitress).