Morpheus on… “That Letter Is Silent – Like The ‘P’ In Pool”

Kid: “I got banned from the local swimming pool for peeing in it.”

His Dad: “That’s a bit strong – every kid pees in the pool.”

Kid: “Yeah – but I did it from the top diving board.”

I recalled this venerable joke while watching Adam Sandler’s movie, “Grown Ups” (2010).

Like you, I’ve often heard about the chemical which pool owners add to the water that turns urine bright blue (or red) but when this was SHOWN in said movie – it got me thinking…

And having thunk – I decided it was bollocks.

Think it through: the chemical would have to be DRINKABLE, or it would poison the water – the very thing it’s supposed to PREVENT.

And pee is not poisonous anyway. In fact, provided the pe-er is in normal health, urine is STERILE.

And even a good, long one in a pool – would only constitute around one part per BILLION, compared with the volume of water.

And pee is essentially composed of the same chemicals as SWEAT – how you gonna stop people SWEATING in a pool?

And even if the chemical WAS safe – and worked effectively – what THEN? Sure, you could eject the “offender” – but who would want to STAY in your pool? You’d have to drain, disinfect and refill it – which would take at least a DAY, never mind the COST.

And it would be pointless anyway. All public pools contain a constantly-monitored level of CHLORINE, which KILLS “impurities” like sweat, pee – even POOP.

I’ve always figured the Magic Chemical was a MYTH – told by pool-owners to kids, to try to at least cut down on the LEVEL of pee.

Yet another lie adults tell children, like: don’t do that – you’ll go blind, every time you pick your nose a fairy dies – and ice cream vans only play music when they’ve run out of ice cream.

But I still had to CHECK – and found several sites which confirmed what I had already surmised…

It’s BOLLOCKS.

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One response to this post.

  1. Ah… Another advantage of being a non-swimmer!

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