Morpheus on… America’s Obsession

Despite winning the War Of Independence 229 years ago, Americans STILL appear to feel the need to BREAK AWAY from Britain.

They drive on the WRONG side of the road – they eat with their cutlery the wrong way round – their months and dates are backwards (“9/11” is actually “11/9”) – their language has as many different nouns as possible (along with usage) without totally abandoning English – they call Rugby… Football (and play it in outfits that make the players look like RoboCop) – their pints and gallons are smaller (as are their billions and trillions) while their shoe sizes are bigger (but that old story is UNtrue).

Plus, where Britain’s right-wing party’s colour (which they spell color) is blue and its left-wing party’s is red – America’s are REVERSED.

Furthermore, their buildings have no first floor – their electricity is 110V at 60 Hz, while everyone else’s is 220V at 50Hz – their TV standard is 525-line NTSC (Never Twice The Same Colour – again, they go with color) while everyone else has 625-line PAL/SECAM.

And despite every other country under the sun having speed limits in increments of ten (either MPH or KPH) – theirs have a FIVE on the end.

This last HAS to be the MOST absurd. I mean, one would think that nothing COULD be done to vary THOSE. But no – The U S of A decided to add a FIVE to them.

So while the rest of the World has signs reading 20, 30, 40, 50 and so on – America goes with 25, 35, 45, 55, etc.

They FINALLY just opened a road built for SPEED. It is a TOLL road in Texas. And despite being a mere forty miles long, it will cost people eight bucks (a fiver) just to travel on it.

However, with their primitive, inefficient cars (including Mustangs, like the one I pissed all over in Norfolk that time) having engines geared DOWN to meet petrol (which they wrongly call “gas”) consumption regulations, while still being able to burn rubber off the lights – many of their vehicles will strain to even REACH the permitted maximum on this new road.

Eighty-FIVE MPH.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by grayman on November 8, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    And watch out for the gray man: red man means stop, just like UK, but there is no green man, only gray man, who means walk – right now! Hesitate and some guy in his car will think you are meditating, so he will go ahead and turn right on red.

    There was something else going on in USA between the wars. El President Woodrow Wilson had a vision for America – stay out of everyone else’s stuff. Pity it didn’t last!!!

    Anyway, during this period they went their own way in a host of things. As pointed out their sports became unique, could never get the implications of the World Series of baseball till I learned of the US’s policy of ISOLATIONISM.

    Their Motor racing evolved into something completely different, they already drove on the wrong side of the road, but their cars became monsters – ok fuel was a lot cheaper, but look what the euros achieved in technical development in this period from which they have NEVER caught up.

    Basketball was another home grown effort, a contrived sport easily covered by the media with minimum effort/expense. As noted Gridiron got the treatment as well.

    American music became their own too. Their policy of isolation meant that they were cut off from the world and did it their way, just like “ol’ blue eyes” sang.

    Even as war swept Europe again in 1939, the Yanks stayed out of the game till 1942, when their industrialists couldn’t resist the profit making opportunity any longer, then they jumped and saved the world, I know – I saw the movie.

    Don’t get me wrong, I like Yanks, have a fascination with their tank cars – NOT THE MODERN ONES – detest Harleys, love their music generally, but interesting times eh!

  2. Posted by Vincent on November 12, 2012 at 12:54 am

    NO-ONE called Frank “Ol’ Blue Eyes” – until some record company puke MADE IT UP to promote his latest album. Then everyone assumed they’d MISSED it – and BEGAN calling him that, instead of “The Guv’ner” (in England) “The Chairman Of The Board” (in America) and “Bones” (in ’40s America, when Sinatra was skinny).

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