So this guy boards a plane to find the seat next to his already occupied by a woman with a baby. But this is no ordinary baby. After a few minutes sitting in silence, the man feels compelled to say something. “Lady, I dunno how to say this – but that’s the UGLIEST baby I’ve ever seen.”
The woman explodes, “How… DARE you!” Then she stabs the call button above her with such ferocity that the man fears she might have broken her finger.
A stewardess comes down the aisle and the woman hisses, “WILL you seat this… MAN somewhere ELSE? He… OH!”
“Look sir, we don’t want any problems – there are some empty seats at the back – please follow me.”
The man shrugs and follows the stewardess.
Having re-seated the man, she returns to the distraught woman. “I’m sorry about that, madam. Let me get you a complimentary cognac for your trouble.”
The woman visibly relaxes.
“…And a free pillow for your neck.”
She smiles weakly.
“…And a banana for your chimpanzee.”
Thank you! My name’s Morpheus. Don’t forget to tip your waitress!