The downside of committing your outpourings to the Interweb, as opposed to writing a book is – no MONEY.
However, it has its upside too. Like you don’t have to have a tree killed. And whereas with a book, once you send your œuvre to the printers that’s IT – with an online book, you can MODIFY it.
Of course, there is no practical way you can contact those who read the “before” version and inform them of your update to it – but at least NEW readers will benefit from your latest inspiration. Hooray.
And so it was that I recently added a chapter to “Love, Sex & Relationships… the whole damn thing online” (which is the expanded, updated version of my 1994 book, “Love, Sex & Relationships… the whole damn thing in a book” – no-one buys books anymore anyhow).
So if you’ve READ it, here IS the new chapter (and if you haven’t, you can find it by clicking http://johnbellamy.wordpress.com/)…
ALPHAS AND BETAS
While age, race, creed, colour, politics and so on are – in combination – vital areas of compatibility, the most important overall is alpha-beta.
There are two kinds of people in this World – alphas and betas. Those who lead and those who are led. Those who zip through the traffic and those who ARE the traffic.
And in any relationship, one partner will generally lead – the other follow. This difference may be minimal or totally define the relationship.
It matters not WHO is the alpha – many relationships thrive where the woman wears the trousers (although in public, for appearance sake, she may pretend to be submissive) – but most unions feature this dynamic.
And when searching for The One, having found love – and enough of the above compatibilities to enable the relationship to prosper – you will HAVE to establish who is the BOSS.
Provided it is just ONE of you, everything will be fine. One alpha and one beta makes for equilibrium.
And while many would argue that a relationship between two betas is like a ship with a busted rudder – directionless – the truth is that this too has balance.
However, the relationship to avoid like the plague is the one between TWO ALPHAS.
A good example would be Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Both much-married, they married and divorced each other TWICE.
The reason was although Liz was clearly alpha and Dick beta, he could not abide being bossed about by her. His Welsh heritage – “where men are men and women are glad of it” – demanded he take the lead.
So before resigning yourself to a life of strife, step back and look at your alpha-beta status. You will not change the other – so make sure they are right, NOW.