Morpheus on… DINKERs

The caps in the title do not denote the IMPORTANCE of the word – rather, simply that it is an acronym (as the lower-case “s” should demonstrate).

It is a follow-on from the more famous, semi-acronymic (it’s a word) Yuppie – which, depending on which magazine you read back in the Eighties, either stood for Young, Upwardly-mobile Person – or Young Urban Professional.

That word begat DINKY – Double-Income, No Kids Yet – which in turn has now given us DINKER – Double-Income, No Kids, Early Retirement.

And this is a route which increasingly more Western couples are travelling.

Elsewhere in these scribblings, this writer has detailed the pros and cons of having kids. Pros: they do and say cute things and give you the chance to create and mould new lives. Cons: they push the woman’s mind (temporarily) and body (permanently) out of shape, wreck your sex and social lives – and (unless you are RICH) condemn you to eternal poverty (for THAT piece, click on

But DINKER gives you an alternative to all of that.

Even two mediocre wages should, when added together, give you the ability to divert several grand a year into an offshore investment portfolio. Or a land-based pension account.

The first of these will give you about 6% per annum. The second, nearly as much – and usually tax-free (most governments look kindly upon “private” pensions).

With either of these, just a FEW grand a year will, with compound interest, amount to a MASSIVE sum in as little as twenty years.

And while your money may be tied up for that time, at least YOU can decide when you GET it. Right now, most governments are using bogus figures that ignore historical infant mortality rates to DELAY payment of government state pensions, trying to kid twenty-somethings that they will live to a hundred.

However, having your OWN pension, you CAN retire at fifty – with the government state pension kicking in later, to cover inflation.

Forget COMPANY pensions – companies mismanage them – or just go belly-up.

Some even find ways to fire employees just before their entitlement begins (it is not unknown for them to hire a PI as a security consultant – who then hires a prostitute to join the company as a temp – who in turn seduces the employee – then cries rape, allowing the company to fire the employee for sexual misconduct. It happens).

But with your money safely stashed away in a PRIVATE pension account – YOU can seduce the BOSS. Or just take a dump on his desk.

So it is your choice…

(1) Have kids and spend the rest of your life in poverty – hoping you will live long enough to REACH retirement.

(2) On your fiftieth birthday, tell the boss where to STICK his job – and jump on a plane to a low-economy island paradise.


4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Cyrus Quick on August 10, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    You make it sound so simple, and it probably IS – but only if you are intelligent enough and persevering enough. I am only slightly intelligent, and have ZERO perseverance. No problem: that is how the gene pool sorts the high risers from the stay downs.

    As for children, adopting (- do NOT separate siblings for that is an evil thing to do!) solves any problem for the lady. By the way, I would make an excellent daddy NOW. When I was young I made a total-wreck of being a daddy. Anyway, fascinating Post!

  2. Posted by Vincent on August 11, 2014 at 3:34 am

    “Slightly”? You are too modest sir – if memory serves, you entered a certain org with a bigger margin than my lousy one point! But moving on, it is only a template – there are indeed complications. Like both partners staying in employment (and if governments stopped LYING and accepted that the only way to reverse unemployment figures is to progressively REDUCE the pension entitlement age – that would be a better prospect) and staying TOGETHER (you would need a JOINT investment that could be SEPARATED without too much loss of interest) being just two.

    However, the principle is firm. If a couple AVOIDS having kids – including adopted ones – and stick to their savings agenda, they CAN quit the rat race at fifty. And this has an extra bonus, apart from the obvious; about a third of the people who fail to climb up the corporate PYRAMID (which inevitably, most will) are doomed to experience work-related stress crackups. Knowing it’ll all be over at FIFTY – rather than sixty-something – can help stave OFF that experience.

  3. Posted by Cyrus Quick on August 11, 2014 at 9:41 am

    I am convinced that the UK Government, to take the example that affects me, have more money than they say. I am sure that they could create many jobs that would make no profit for private investors but would add to the size of the wage circulation transferring money from Benefits box to Wages box (same money, different name, but folk would feel better) and… to get to the end of this sentence… the jobs would be stuff like:

    chamfering aka bevelling the cliffs;
    repairing the Roman road network (to make hikers and bikers trails);
    and knocking on doors in the evenings to educate people as to the need of, and the method of, flattening plastic bottles and metal cans, so that they all fit into the garbage bins, and so that seagulls do not rip open exposed bags scattering garbage all over the street.

    “Now let’s take this bottle madam. I see you like Coca Cola. I prefer Pepsi myself. Any way, partly unscrew the cap and then stand on the bottle. When the air is all out, you have a flat bottle taking up about 10% of the volume of the air-full bottle. Sorry, you will have to catch the repeat of your soap, if any. I prefer docos myself… And, of course, the annual Henry Wood Prom Concerts, especially when they sing Land Of Hope And Glory… What? You are SO rude! Have you paid your TV licence, by the way?”

  4. Posted by Vincent on August 12, 2014 at 10:45 am


    Here in the Land Of Smiles, privateers BUY plastic bottles, etc. AND they make no demands about flattening (which I do anyway) and cleaning – as the UK’s councils do – AND they pay you f*** all!

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