Morpheus on… Jeremy Clarkson: In Trouble Again?

Auntie’s errant nephew is a comedian – we all know that. And he and his Top Gear chums love to tweak the noses of the Politically Correct.

There was the Mexican jape (a poke at vintage Mexican stereotypes).

Then came the remark about truck-drivers murdering prostitutes. This was a VERY old reference – to the pre-motorway (US: freeway) days when oft-married lorry drivers (as they were called then) would pick up “mysteries” (female hitch-hiking drifters) and sometimes things would get out of hand…

And more recently, there was the “slope” gag. Yet AGAIN, it was for oldsters – they probably figured only a few old Vietnam vets would get it.

But unfortunately, a publicity- (and money-) seeking actress (it has been reported) decided to get some mileage out of it and blew it up into a major thing.

However, Jeremy’s latest offering nearly got the whole team LYNCHED. The problem arose from the registration plate on the second-hand Porsche 928 he was driving around Patagonia, in South America.

H982 FKL.

While he was in Argentina, a few locals decided it referred to the 1982 (STILL over thirty years ago) Falklands War – which Britain had won – and they had LOST. And pretty soon, those few people become a MOB.

The Boys From The Beeb barely escaped with their lives.

Of course, as usual, Top Gear’s producer claimed it was a coincidence and there had been NO intention to offend. But surely, if that was the case – it ought to be pretty easy to PROVE.

The “H” prefix is correct for the model of car. It ran from 01/08/90 to 31/07/91 – and while the Porsche 928 debuted in 1978, it did not cease production until 1995.

And KL exists, too. It would have been issued in Maidstone, Kent.

Therefore, since deliberately obtaining a vehicle issued with such a plate would have been highly impractical, all the producers need to do is demonstrate that the plate is GENUINE – rather than it having been made up for the shoot.

In short, come up with the Porsche’s registration document.

They would have needed a genuine document to get the vehicle into South America in the first place. And while the car itself had to be abandoned there, Auntie must still have its paperwork SOMEWHERE.

If not, just track down the 928’s original owner – and failing that, challenge anyone to come up with ANOTHER vehicle that has that number, thus demonstrating that the plate used in Argentina was BOGUS.

The plate was only issued fourteen years ago – if it was attached to another car, said car OUGHT to still LIVE.

So come on Top Gear; if this was GENUINELY NOT another of your off-colour jokes, aimed at guys as old as you are – then PROVE IT!!


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by cyrusquick on January 1, 2015 at 2:49 am

    I have to say that Jeremy Clarkson has always irritated me. He is undoubtedly a better man, in all ways, than I am, but he likes fast cars. That puts him in my reject bin. Driving fast for fun is an imbecile habit.

    In regard to personal transport, I only like (1) pretty 1950s US cars for the styling, and (2) Jeeps (and/or the UK copy Land Rover), plus station wagons aka shooting brakes I guess.

    The idea of a vehicle which carries only people, and a little shopping, is crazy.

    I need to carry survival kit and rations for when the sirens go off and the H-bombs are on their way. Sadly, those days seem to be over. I was so looking forward to most of Earth’s population being out of my way whilst I learned how to fish and shoot and skin and cook.

    Of course, I never actually got fully prepared. I moved from Birmingham which I figured would be a prime target for USSR. I chose the West Country (prevailing westerly winds would bring fresh Atlantic air and radiation would be sent east.

    Plymouth looked good. A substantial city. Nobody told me that Army, Marines, a major Royal Navy base, and RAF Ocean Rescue were all station there making it a prime target. But it all fell thru with the balance of terror.

  2. Posted by Vincent on January 1, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    Actually, our tastes in CARS are similar; the MOST car ever made HAS to be the ’59 Caddy – and I have always favoured estates (station wagons, shooting brakes, whatever) over saloons.

    Far more practical for shopping.

    I bought a saloon here, for taking Mum places – but after settling here, we only went out in it ONCE.

    Honda made a nice little compromise; a two-door, low-slung sports car, with a tailgate – but I’m stuck with m’Mitsu.

    However, at least it’s fully loaded (4-speed automatic, power steering, brakes, windows, etc. – and of course, aircon).

    And it’s big, fast and easy to drive – so at my age it’ll do.

    Now 20 years old (it was 8, when I bought it) I’m classing it as a CLASSIC, since it’s ROUND-shaped (see m’earlier piece in m’columns, on round versus square cars).

    But being a rice-burner, I just hope it’ll last as long AS I DO!

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