Morpheus on… My Porn Star Name

There’s a famous American idea that if you take your first pet’s name and the name of the street where you grew up and put them together – you arrive at your Porn Star name. Well, that would make mine Percy Withipoll. Which actually WORKS!

Percy was my budgie. But later, the name was used in a ’60s British comedy film about the World’s first penis transplant. Thus these day, Percy is a name chaps use for their “weapon” – along with Jasper, Mr Happy, Captain Cucumber, etc.

And Withipoll – well, I mean… With A Pole! But this got me thinking, where did the name Withipoll COME from? My encyclopaedia offered nothing, so I Googled it. And I was amazed to find a RAFT of stuff about Withipoll.

Which incredibly, included my old street, Withipoll Street, Ipswich, England. It’s only a 100-metre side-street, but there’s a map – and CAMRA (CAMpaign for Real Ale – old-style beer – “I’m going to a CAMRA meeting” – sounds better than “I’m going to the pub to get pissed with me mates”) lists a pub in it that closed over SEVENTY YEARS AGO. Surreal.

It turns out that Withipoll (sometimes spelled Withipole – with an “e” on the end) is just an old English surname (goes back to Henry VIII’s time). I’m still no wiser as to where it CAME from.

But at least it gave me a funny Porn Star name.

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