Morpheus on… Cop Banter

Here are a couple of bits from a UK cop called Adey Hill, that amused Your Humble Scribe…

So I’m writing a ticket for a motorist. Motorist: “Shouldn’t you be out catching real criminals like rapist and murderers?”

I call Control Room on my radio: “I’m just dealing with a motorist – are there any rapes or murders on the active queue for me to deal with?”

Control Room (sounding slightly bemused): “Err… that’s a negative.”

Me: “Thanks. I’ll let him know he has my undivided attention.”


Prisoner: “Why are you so fat?” (I wasn’t – it was my kit and anti-stab vest).

Me: “Because every time I sleep with your mum she gives me a biscuit!”

…Who says cops have no sense of humour?


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