Morpheus on… Leggy May: Here’s Another Nice Mess You’ve Gotten Us Into

So, having done a U-turn and determined to rip Britain OUT of Europe, you decided to silence your critics and firm up your position by holding a General Election. Your party was umpteen points in the lead – what could possibly go wrong?

Well, Jeremy Corbyn could begin a VIGOROUS campaign that would turn him from being one of Britain’s most hated politicians into someone viewed – particularly by the young – as its possible SAVIOUR, that’s what.

And even though the surge in his popularity wasn’t enough to give him victory, it managed to erode your comfortable lead into a minor DEFICIT.

This meant you needed HELP. But who could you turn to?

Not the Liberal Democrats for sure; only a few years ago, your former boss Cameron chewed Cleggy and his people up and shat them OUT. Tim Farron ain’t daft enough to go down THAT road.

And certainly not the Scottish National Party; Nic Sturgeon would not p*ss on you if you were on fire.

While Sinn Féin, Plaid Cymru and the Greens only have seven, four and one seat respectively – you’d have to rope in BOTH the former two parties to achieve a slim majority. Lotsa luck with THAT.

Which only leaves the DUP. WHO??

Yes, even I had barely heard of them. So I did some research.

It turns out DUP stands for Democratic Unionist Party. But in this case, the word “democratic” is like the word “socialist” was – with the NAZI party.

Yes, in both cases words that normally imply LEFT-wing sympathies were actually applied to EXTREME RIGHT-WING parties.

Face it, Leggy – the DUP are a bunch of primitive, barbaric retards who make your Tory wing of the British Party look like LIBERALS in comparison.

They don’t even have the same aspirations as you – and you’re getting into bed with THEM?

Okay, they’re the ONLY way you can stay in power – but GAWDELP us all now…

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