Morpheus on… Reflections On “The Mooch”

We have now had a week to recover from The Mooch’s absurdly short rule as White House Communications Director – so what have we learned?

Well, it is a widely-known fact that America’s VEEPS (vice-presidents) are only there to make their boss LOOK GOOD.

Examples include Spiro Agnew (Nixon) and Dan Quayle (Bush Snr) – men so stupid they could make ANYONE look good, in comparison.

Of course, with George Wan… sorry, WaLker Bush, the order was TOO tall – so they appointed Dick Cheney, to at least make him look HARMLESS.

However, all Trump has is Mike Pence – a man who fits the bill, believing that having an unchaperoned dinner with a lady is akin to having shagged her and that people who love members of their own sex should Pray Away The Gay.

But while he looks like an Armani mannequin – and clearly has the brain of one – so far, he has kept his DISTANCE from Trump, seemingly biding his time until it falls to him to take over whatever is left of America, once Trump collapses.

And so Trump needed another plan… how about bringing a DISTRACTION into the White House? A man even MORE blue-collar and CRASS than himself?

Enter Anthony Scaramucci.

But oh, oh, OH!!!

Within days of entering the arena, this former Wall Street wolf had PUBLICLY called Rinse Pubis a “f***ing paranoid schizophrenic” and suggested Steve Bannon BLOW himself – but in more graphic terms.

Now whilst THIS reporter might refer to Pubis as a mega-dweeb – and observe that Bannon looks like he sleeps in a dumpster – even HE would not go THAT far.

Thus, after a record-breakingly short time, The Donald had no choice but to let The Mooch go – rather like when The Baron croaks The Monster at the end of those ’30s Frankenstein movies (which would make Eric… Igor?)

But let us not feel TOO sorry for The Mooch; this arsehole made GAZILLIONS from his time on Wall Street. And even though his long-suffering second wife, Deidre (I kid you not) will likely glom a sizeable chunk of it when their divorce goes through – he is unlikely to ever have to worry where his next Ferrari is coming from.

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