Morpheus on… The Vombatidi Volante


The Flying Wombat.

Okay, this one will require some explanation…

The wombat is an Australian animal, something like a big guinea-pig. It does not fly.

Its Latin name gives us its Italian name – vombatidi.

Meanwhile, in Thunderball (1965) the villain’s boat is called the “Disco Volante” – a real hydrofoil, it had an added FX rear section that was jettisoned (and destroyed) in the finale. Its name translates into English as Flying Saucer.

And “The Curse Of The Flying Wombat” was a serialised sketch, featured in the seminal BBC radio series, “I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again” – also in 1965.

While back in the Thirties, a concept car was designed and built called the Phantom Corsair. But it was more popularly known as the “Flying Wombat” and featured in a romantic comedy film (rather like the 1955 Lincoln Futura, which eventually became the ’60s TV Batmobile – see elsewhere in these ramblings).

Here IS the beast…

'38 Phantom Corsair

…not bad for 1938, eh? Powered by a whopping V8, too. Sadly, the owner/designer died before any more could be produced – but the original still exists, in a museum somewhere.

Anyhoo, if my premium bond ever comes up, my yacht will be named…

“The Vombatidi Volante” – and only YOU will understand why.

Morpheus on… 2017

Is it just me, or does 2017 feel like The Last Days Of Pompeii?


Morpheus on…’Tis The Season To Be Jolly

My being an anti-theist (“religion retards the ascent of man”) you might assume I say Bah Humbug to Christmas. Well, hold on there a minute…

You see, while I rail at the Christians’ HIJACKING of the Winter Solstice, because it was a joyous celebration that did not include them or their daft beliefs – that does not mean I am opposed to fun and frolics.

And the hijacking of CHRISTMAS by commercial interests (even modern Santa was invented by Coca-Cola, in the Thirties) – does not entirely dim my appreciation of this season either.

Even the Politically Correct arseholes who would BAN it, for fear of “offending” the tiny percentage of declared non-Christians in the West (try living in the Middle East and complaining about Ramadamadingdong) will not dishearten me.

No, I am old enough to remember a time before ALL that bullcrap; when the holiday was still officially the property of the Church. And as such, even in those days, most people knew that the 25th of December was actually the Turning Of The Year – not the Birth Of The Christ.

Therefore it was a MAGICAL time; when people smiled at strangers in the street, felt happy for no particular reason, bought each other gifts – and generally believed in the goodness of each other.

Yes my friend, it is THAT which we need to RECLAIM.

And as a New Year beckons – with Trump and Brexit sat squarely all over it – DO WE EVER NEED IT!!!

Morpheus on… Just A Thought

Hey, we’ve all seen that bit after a wedding where they assemble the bridesmaids and the bride tosses her bouquet out – and Whomsoever Catches It Shall Be The Next To Be Wed – right?

Well, how come they don’t do the same thing at funerals?

You assemble the oldest people – then take the wreath…

Morpheus on… …But What If The Tail Is A FREAKSHOW?

Following on from the piece below, it now looks like Trump’s Cabinet may contain every MASSIVE LOSER of whom Americans have said, “Well, at least HE/SHE will never achieve political power.” The following are under consideration…

Secretary Of State: Rudy “at least I didn’t hide in the toilet on 9/11” Giuliani.

Attorney General: Rudy again, Chris Christie. (Couldn’t they make him Secretary of PIES or something? The man has SUFFERED).

Secretary of the Interior: Sarah Palin. SERIOUSLY?

Secretary for Health and Human Services: Ben Carson (aw, come ON!) Rick “oops” Scott, Bobby Jindal (remember him? the Indian Alfred E. Neuman?) – and Mike Huckabee.

Secretary for Education: Carson again.

Ditto Homeland Security: Rudy YET again.

The list goes on. There is even talk of giving Oloroso Marigold a rôle (sure, while you’re doing that, why not make Gary Busey Secretary for Dentistry?)

Of course, this is only for FOUR YEARS, right? Trump could NEVER earn a SECOND term.

Yes, well that’s what they thought about The Monkey – George Wan… sorry, WaLker Bush. Then 9/11 happened and Americans were so sh*t-scared they would have voted an ACTUAL monkey into the Oval Office, provided he was a REPUBLICAN.

Maybe they’ll SHOOT him? All Americans have GUNS, right?

Except RWAs (Right-Wing Arseholes – US: Assholes) don’t get shot BY Liberals – it’s the OTHER WAY ROUND.

And Trump is now the second most guarded man in The States (did you see that WIRED guy behind Trump as he went through the crowd, following his Acceptance Speech? Hilarious).

Nope. America is F***ED.

But at least BRITAIN is still in with a chance. We can UNDO OUR Trump – simply NOT SIGN ARTICLE FIFTY.


Morpheus on… When The Tail Wags The Dog

A lot of people are worried about what Trump will do when he becomes POTUS.

But this observer believes they should be WAY more worried about the American CONGRESS than the Big Orange One.

A quick word about the UK government and its stateside sister; while both originate from the ancient Roman model, they feature one big difference.

In Britain, the Prime Minister is voted for by the ruling (majority) party’s Members of Parliament (the UK equivalent of America’s Representatives).

While in the States, the President is voted for SEPARATELY, by The People.

The effect of this is to make Britain’s PM its Supreme Leader. And provided their party has the majority of MPs, when they shout “jump” – their whips will ensure their MPs politely ask how high.

However across the pond, The Most Powerful Man (thus far) In The World heads a separate office, known as The Executive Branch.

Which means he may not necessarily belong to the majority party (or indeed, ANY party). Unthinkable, back in The Mother Of Parliaments.

And that is the situation Barry Obama has been in for most of the last eight years. A Democrat, he has had to kiss the arses (US: asses) of the Republican Representatives (and many of the Democratic ones too – America’s whips are not as vicious as their opposite numbers in Blighty) in order to get ANYTHING done.

Even then, his bills have mostly been castrated or at best, watered-down.

Meanwhile, the Representatives have fared little better – with Barry vetoing many of their bills in retaliation.


But now – enter Trump.

With a Republican President in charge of Republican majorities in BOTH Houses of Congress; Representatives and the Senate (America’s equivalent of Britain’s House of Lords – sort of) surely now, stuff will finally get DONE.

Well, yes. But the big question is – by WHOM?

Trump is NOT a politician. But he will soon become – at least, in theory – the chief of FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIVE people who ARE.

And they are all REPUBLICANS. With a SLEW of Right-Wing agendas to fill.

So I repeat; America should be FAR more concerned with what THOSE bastards are likely to do, once the Trumpster is safely ensconced in the Oval Office…

Morpheus on… I CALLED IT!!!


…as 2016 President-Elect Donald Trump (I can’t believe I just typed that) would undoubtedly say.

A week ago, in this very column, I typed the following – 

And according to the then-latest NBC/Wall Street Journal poll, his “invisibles” have numbered EXACTLY my predicted six percent!

We have CLUELESS POLLSTERS – and foreign terrorism – to thank for both Brexit and now …America’s next POTUS.

Gawdelpus us all.